The Heroes of Nothingdom

Dr. Ed McSweegan

So, yesterday and today, I have spent most of my time doing nothing. Since Sarah has had to work pretty much full days, I have been here at her apartment with very little to do. I have no car, and even if I did, it is sooo cold here in Wheeling that I would probably not set even one foot outdoors. I've been watching lots of culinary television, both much of Food Network's lineup and Travel Channel's "No Reservations" and "Bizarre Foods."

While checking out CNN.com, my attention was caught by a story about a pioneer in similar circumstances to my own, the hero of all men who dream of making large amounts of money for doing little or no work, Charles Ponzi, namesake of the famous Ponzi Scheme. Interesting, for sure. But a link within that story led me to another interesting piece on four men, each of whom made large amounts of money by doing relatively little work. A CEO, an actor and a professional athlete each made the list. But the final entry is the one I would most aspire to be like. His name is Edward McSweegan, and he actually is quite accomplished. He holds a Ph.D. in microbiology and once oversaw the National Institute of Health's Lyme Disease program. In addition, he has penned several scientific works, and completed two science fiction novels. The kicker, though, is that he finished the final entries to that resume on the job, in his cushy office, while receiving a six-figure government salary. His tenure at NIH reads something like the plot of a Seinfeld episode, an amalgam of George Costanza's wildest ambitions and Kramer's bass-ackwards falling into luck. A true American hero.